on the camino

My hope is that when I leave this world, I am known as someone who was truly grateful for every single moment. Yes, even the hard ones. I hope that when my body is here no more that you see me in the glowing autumn leaves and feel me in a cool breeze. I hope you meet me in strangers with a warm and welcoming smile, strangers that become friends that make you feel at home.

I’m standing in the middle of the trail watching the morning light glide though the eucalyptus and pine trees. There’s still a whisper of the dawns fog and the birds are already gossiping. I can’t stop crying and i feel like my heart is coming out of my body with gratitude accompanied with the grief of our fleeing time here. Here. As me. As spectacular and wonderful me. The girl who is in love with the world. It brings me immense joy to be here now. And to know that in days, weeks, years to come that I will lookback at this time and hold it close to my heart. It will be the medicine for the days i don’t think through, when the burden and the grief of the world weighs down so heavily my being. I’ve walked in solitude the past two days and in a few hours i’ll be in solitude no more. I’ll be with the ocean blue.

Although

We are never really in true solitude; I have the wind. The trees. Birds, rocks, bees. The flowers and the dew dripped spider webs. You are never really alone,

maybe you’re just never paying attention.